#anyways this is my complaining party over
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Declan O'Hara imagine - I'm not doing this.
A/N: I thought about this one shot weeks ago... finally writing it. Probably been done already by someone else but who isn't obsessed with rivals atm. I also haven't written in years.
Summary: Declan is fighting against himself and everything he believes in when you come into the picture.
Warnings: Age Gap, fem!reader, NSFW content 18+, strong language, bit of a slow burn.
"Taggie, honestly, I don't know why you'd ever willingly add Brussel sprouts to anything." You chuckled as you both crept through the door to the kitchen.
"They're good for you!" Taggie tried to defend her culinary choices for her Sunday lunch.
"If they're good for you then I always want to be bad."
"Who's being bad?" A thick Irish accent filled the room as Taggie's dad sauntered in, a mug of coffee in one hand with his other burrowed deeply into his trouser pocket.
"Dad, this is (Y/N). (Y/N) was just objecting to my sprouts."
"Oh yeah, I agree, terrible things. Even the dog won't eat 'em" Declan brought his mug to his lips, smirking through the thick moustache that hid his upper lip.
You felt your insides alight at his dark, playful expression as he teased Taggie.
That was the first time you knew you were a bad friend. A bad friend who wanted your new friend's father to lift you onto the kitchen table and bury his head between your thighs.
The thought made your cheeks burn red as you laughed at Declan's remark and Taggie's complaints against him.
The man left the kitchen when his eyes flitted back to you, sending you a nod and a 'lovely to meet you, (Y/N). '
You couldn't help but replay the way he said your name in your head over and over and over again until you were desperate for his voice to sing it again.
The next time you saw Declan O'Hara was at the O'Hara New Years Eve party.
"You better not spend the whole time in here. I'd actually like you to put a dress on and come out to dance at some point tonight." You pleaded with Taggie as she clasped your necklace for you.
"I'll try but I can't make any promises. Anyway, you're out there to be my eyes and ears. You need to tell me if anyone complains about the food, okay?"
"Yes, Taggie. But no one will because you are amazing and your food is amazing and you are so right for not letting me help you cook or serve after I burnt the soup last time." You faced her as she continued to prep the ingredients she would need for the feast she had planned.
"You are a great friend but you are a terrible cook." Taggie agreed. You felt a lump in your throat at the words. Were you a great friend for literally fantasising over her father after almost every time you had an interaction with him? "Now please go next door and make sure that all the tables have the right cutlery for me?"
"Anything for you, Agatha!" You headed to do as you were told. Looking down to smooth out your dress when you felt yourself collide with something solid.
"I'm so sorry!" You looked up to see Declan turning, laughing softly at your clumsiness.
"It's okay, love." Declan's own eyes fell down your body, his lips parting slightly as he took in the sight of you all dressed up. He knew you were an attractive girl but you were Taggie's age and one of her only friends in the surrounding neighbours beside Lizzie. "You look beautiful."
The sincerity in his voice caused a chill to roll up your spine.
"Thanks. You look very handsome too, Mr. O'Hara." You didn't know why you felt so shy around him. You were so used to owning your space and holding your confidence when you fancied someone.
"That's very kind, (Y/N). And it's Declan. I don't want to tell you again." Declan send you a wink as he started to pass you. "Hey, and no snogging my son at midnight. You're way too good for him."
Your heart squeezed at the taunt. Patrick was a gorgeous boy and he had tried to flirt with you when he met you but you were far too interested in Declan for Patrick to make any dent in your crush.
"He's not my type anyway." You managed to find your tongue to quip back an answer.
"Good girl."
Good Girl.
You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself replying something entirely inappropriate in response.
As the night went on, you felt your heart drop more and more. Declan was obsessed with his wife. His wife was obsessed with anyone else.
You were desperate to try and make more conversation with the man but almost everyone was grabbing his attention to discuss some work matter or other.
As the countdown began, you gut wrenchingly watched as Maud and Declan kiss. You put on a smile and exchanged celebrations with those around you. Giving Lizzie a kiss on the cheek as her husband blanked her as he usually did.
"Happy New Year, chicken." Lizzie pressed on a faux smile as you did.
"Happy New Year, Lizzie."
"A little advice for your new years resolution if I may?" Lizzie whispered as she drew you closer.
"You may want to get better at hiding your admiration for Taggie's father. I know nothing hurts more than something you can't have." Lizzie's words took you back, you felt your cheeks burning red and your smile drop.
"Oh, Lizzie, I'm mortified! Please don't tell Taggie." You begged.
"Not a peep." Lizzie motioned locking her lips with a key before grabbing your hands to singing sway along with the room.
The night went on and Lizzie tried to encourage you to join in festivities. You drank more and more, being forced away whenever you tried to help Taggie wash up, and you soon found yourself needing some quiet time.
You let yourself into Declan's office, leaning against the desk, fingers gripping the underside to give you some stability when the room started to ever so slightly spin.
You closed your eyes. Inhaling a shaky breath when you heard the door creek open.
"I thought someone unwanted had decided to sneak through my things." Declan's melodic accent forced your eyes open.
"I'm wanted, am I?" You smirked slightly, through the sickness as your eyelids closed again.
Declan didn't respond. Instead he just studied you from across the room. His hands in his pockets, his stance leaning back just ever so slightly.
"You struggling there?" Declan was amused at your state.
You tried to push yourself off the desk but instead felt yourself stumble forward.
Declan's amusement quickly turned into concern as he stepped forward to catch you.
"Steady on." Declan had managed to stop you from hitting the floor, your face pressed against his chest, his strong arms engulfing you as he pulled you up towards him.
"I'm so sorry..." You mumbled as you leant away to look up at him.
His features were so strong up close. You could smell the whisky on his breath as your eyes lingered on his lips.
"Maybe we should get you some water and put you to bed."
Declan's words drew your eyes to his own. His chest seemed to go tight as he starred down into your glassy (Y/E/C) eyes.
"You can take me to bed any time you want, Mr O'Hara." Your words slurred together with your weak attempt of drunkenly flirting.
"It's Declan."
"Okay, Declan..."
That was the first time Declan had heard you say his name. Something inside him knew he wanted to hear you say it again but he fought against the thought, pulling away from you as you gained your stance.
"Let's hope you don't remember this in the morning, ay?" Declan tried to make light, convincing himself the electric feeling he had was nothing.
"Why? I finally got my chance in your arms. My dream come true."
"Yeah, you really won't want to remember this in the morning. Come on..." Declan opened the door, waiting for you to follow suite. The noise of the party echoed around you; you had almost forgot it was still going on outside.
"Have you ever thought about me?" You had no idea where this liquid confidence had stirred from.
There was a pause before he answered.
"No." He was lying. He knew he was lying. He watched the disappoint subtly encase your eyes as you pursed your lips into a thin smile.
"If I was dreaming, you would've said yes. Goodnight, Mr O'Hara."
"Goodnight, (Y/n)."
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As the weeks went on, rivals became friends. Friends became rivals. You grew closer to the O'Hara family and the moment from NYE had simply been forgotten. Or so you thought...
The dread that had filled your gut that New Years Day after you remembered the incident brewed inside of you for weeks. You had successfully avoided Declan, only seeing him in group scenarios and meetings for Venturer.
"(Y/N), I left some of my flyers on the table in the living room if you want to use them." Taggie climbed into her car, shouting over at you as she rushed off. You both had been going door to door for Venturer in different areas to cover more ground but you had run out of flyers to hand out.
"Thanks, Tag!" You rushed inside, running through the house that still held a cool air inside despite the early summer warmth outside.
"Careful!" You heard a voice proclaim as your bodies hit.
Within the blink of an eye, you had hit the floor with a body on top of you.
"Are you alright?" Declan groaned as you winced underneath his weight. The hard floor sent a wave of pain through your back but you had managed to not hit your head.
"Ow." You grumbled, squeezing your eyes shut.
"Did you hit your head?" Declan propped himself up on his arms, examining your face with a furrowed brow of worry.
"No." Was all you managed to say.
"I thought we had left bumping into each other for last year." Declan recalled on when you knocked into him last New Years Eve before the party had started.
"Clearly I'm not very good at keeping to New Year's resolutions."
Declan chuckled, pushing himself up before offering his hand.
You felt the warmth of his body leave you and the coldness of the floor pierce your bones.
You took his hand; hauling yourself to your feet.
"You sure you're okay?" Declan insisted. His hand reached out to take grip of your waist, his thumb and finger burning against your skin that had been revealed by the edge of your venturer top riding up. His other finger waved past your eyes, checking for concussion.
"I'm fine. No more running in the house with blind corners." You took a step back from the man, straightening your shirt to try and control the lingering feeling of the mans hand on you.
"Now... are we okay?" Declan rephrased,
"What do you mean?"
"(Y/N), don't play stupid. You've avoided me for almost half a year now. You won't even walk around the house without Caitlin or Taggie next to you."
You didn't think that Declan would've noticed with how busy he was with work and his life. Why would he have cared where you were or what you were doing in the house?
"I'm still living down my behaviour at New Years." You reluctantly admitted.
"What, that? Everyone says stuff they shouldn't when they've had a few too many. Doesn't mean you have to never look me in the eye again."
"What I said was completely inappropriate."
"Yes, it was. You're the same age as my daughter and I'm a married man but I'll have to admit I'm a little flattered." Declan tried his best to ease your anxiety. "I don't exactly see myself a teenage heart throb."
"I'm not a teenager." You bit back, the harshness your voice surprising you both.
"There's not much difference. You're practically a child and should be going for someone your own age." Declan quit the joking tone he had been using, taken back by your defence.
"Don't call me a child. I'm not the same age as Caitlin. I am older than Taggie and I've been with men before so I'm not playing silly little girl games over here. This isn't some school girl crush on a handsome teacher. You're right my feelings for you are inappropriate because you're a married man and I'm friends with your daughter but not because of my age. I know who I am and what I feel." A fire lit up your chest as you finally had broken out of the timidness you hated.
"You have no idea what you're talking about." Declan took a step closer to you, his stare burning into you as he lowered his voice.
"You're the one who reads people. Tell me what you see in me." You matched him, standing so close to him you could feel his breath on your face as you gritted your teeth.
The air was thick. The silence of the house engulfing you both, your breath audible and quick. You thought you could almost hear your heart thudding against your chest.
Declan was the one to break away. Storming to his office with a hard slam of the door.
How did your conversation turn so heated?
That night Declan tossed and turned, his head filled with moments of you. He rolled over and gently woke up his wife with soft strokes on her shoulder blades.
"What?" Maud hummed, rolling her head over her shoulder to Declan.
"I'm awake." Declan pressed himself against his wife.
"I can feel that." Maud looked at him through a sleepy gaze.
"Let me touch you." His fingers glided over her skin until he reached the space between her legs. Maud moaned quietly as Declan began to part her folds with his finger.
"Declan..." Maud sighed as she pressed her backside into him, feeling his member hard against her.
Declan wasted no time in entering her. He closed his eyes as his dick pressed inside his wife. And all he could see through the darkness was your eyes looking up at his. The first time he had seen you in the kitchen. The bump in the hall, the incident in his study, every time he had caught you intensely listening to one of his speeches to the group, the crash against the floor. You underneath him. The tiny bit of skin his hand had managed to caress from the bottom of your shirt.
He had never thought of you before. Not with Maud, not with his own hand and imagination and he couldn't make sense of why that night he finished almost as fast as his inexperienced teenage self had once before.
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It had been Declan's turn to avoid you from that day. He couldn't be too close to you without feeling his throat go dry, a sickening guilt and twisting conflict rising with it.
It was the evening you'd find out whether Venturer was a real contender against Corrinium.
The O'Hara house was filled with people eagerly waiting except one who had decided to leave the house for good.
The house erupted in cheers and celebrations as the phone call confirmed it for you all.
You watched through the window as Maud drove off, leaving Declan and Taggie behind.
"We did it!" Taggie squeezed you tightly before embracing her father and to your surprise, Declan had also pulled you into a tight hug. You had hoped no one picked up on the slight awkwardness that left the embrace when Declan moved onto join the others. You couldn't help but feel it.
The party went on and you tried to keep an eye on Declan without making it too obvious (like Rupert and Taggie had failed to).
When Rupert left Declan's side for another whiskey, (Taggie swiftly disappearing just after), Declan slipped away to his study. You followed.
"I'm sorry about Maud." You made your presence known as you watched him place his glass down on the desk, his back to you when he replied.
"Don't."
"Fine." You clenched your jaw, unsure of what to say next at the warning in his tone.
"What do you want from me?" Declan's voice had a hint of desperation. He turned to face you. You had seen this look before.
"I don't––"
"––No 'cause you followed me in here. You are everywhere I look. I can't even get a wink of sleep most nights without dreaming of two things. You or beating Tony fucking Baddingham. And I can't think of you because you're young enough to be my daughter and I'm a fucking hypocrite for telling Rupert to stay away from Taggie when I look at you in that dress and wonder what you would look like with it on this floor right now. I'm not doing it. I can't do this."
Declan's outburst kept your feet frozen in place. Had he really just admitted to wanting you as badly as you wanted him.
You felt your hand roll the zipper of your dress down your side, your body moved without force as you slipped the straps over your shoulders and let it fall to the floor.
"Fuck..." Declan barely breathed out the word. His stare devouring every inch of your skin.
"I'm not doing this." Declan uttered again barely even audible as if only to himself before striding towards you. His fingers found your hips as he thrust you against the door.
His lips were on yours before your back found the solid wood behind you.
You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up towards him, trying to bring your body as close to his own as possible. You needed every gap between you gone. You wanted to feel the heat of him even on this sticky summer evening.
"What am I doing?" Declan broke away and dropped to his knees, placing a firm hand on the middle of your stomach to hold you flush against the door.
There was a deep hunger in his eyes as he lifted one of your thighs up onto his shoulder, never breaking his gaze from your face to almost check if what he was doing was allowed.
You threw your head up, trying to find the air he had stolen from you, one hand finding a grip within his dark curls as your welcome reply.
"Please." You whispered.
Declan moved your panties to the side, a finger running over your folds, sending fire against your skin before he closed his mouth around you.
You let your eyes roll back as his tongue darted across your clit. Electricity filled your body with every moment of contact.
You felt his fingers circle lightly around your entrance. Your hand jumped from his thick curls to tightly grip the back of his own that pushed against your stomach. His grip on you felt as if it were all that was holding you up.
"You want me this badly?" Declan asked with a mixture of teasing and shock. The wetness of your heat coated the tip of his fingers and glistened on the dark hairs of his moustache.
"I've imagined this so many times." You admit honestly.
"I best live up to your expectations then." Declan inserted a finger inside of you, causing a sharp gasp to escape your lips, which made Declan's cock twitch inside his boxer shorts. "Shhhh"
You placed your free hand over your mouth to which Declan smiled a toothy grin at you.
"Good girl" he purred.
Declan rose to his feet as he placed another finger inside of you, thrusting them in and out of you in a painfully slow motion that only made you ache for more.
Declan turned the lock on his door with his other hand before pulling himself away from you completely.
You pouted at the lack of contact to which he tutted.
"So impatient." He uttered as he undid his belt, pulling it from its loops and then kicking his trousers down.
Your eyes fell on the large member pressed against his underwear. The tip seeping precum through the material in a dark stain.
"Go to my desk." Declan ordered.
You almost ran over, Declan caught you by the waist and lifted you up onto it. Spreading your legs with his knee.
"Are you sure you want this?" Declan stripped himself of his shirt, revealing his chest covered with dark thick hair that you reached out to touch. This didn't feel real.
"More than anything." The words were so quiet but Declan seemed to hear them as he freed himself from his underwear.
You reached behind and unclasped your bra.
"Jesus..." He took a handful of your breast, squeezing you firmly as he stroked his member.
"Declan, please." You couldn't wait any longer. The ache pained you.
Declan didn't need to be told twice.
He tore your underwear down your legs and pressed his tip slowly into you.
You bit down on your lip hard to stop yourself from making any noise.
"Holy fuck..." Declan failed at being quiet. You were so tight against him he felt he could've finished inside of you within minutes.
You reached forward and hooked a grip behind his neck, encouraging him deeper inside of you.
"Fuck me please." you pleaded, trying to move your own hips to create some friction.
Declan took the hint and began thrusting into you quickly. His fingers almost bruising your skin as he held you steady on the desk.
The rattle of the belongings on the desk seemed to echo around the room alongside the slapping of skin.
Declan lifted you up, still inside of you and gently placed you down on the floor.
He hovered above you, just like he had once before, watching your face twist in pleasure as he fucked you.
You squeezed his shoulders, your nails leaving an impression whilst he brought you closer to your climax. You pressed your hips up into his creating hot friction against your clitoris, making you throb inside.
"Declan..." You tried to let him know; still trying to whisper to stay quiet.
"Cum for me, princess." Declan smirked, his stare never faltering as he rode you through to your end. He could feel you tighten around him only encouraging him to fuck you harder and deeper.
You bit down on your hand as your climax convulsed through you. Your body shaking in between Declan and the floor.
Declan moved you both effortlessly, lying on his back with you sat on top of him.
You leant ever so slightly forward, steadying yourself with your hand stretched out against his chest.
You smiled wickedly at him as you rolled your hips.
You felt exhausted by your own finish but knew you wanted to see the older man in the same state.
"That's a good girl." Declan held onto your hips, helping you pick up your pace.
His lips parted as he watched you ride him, sweat dripping down your skin mixing with his own as his dick twitched inside of you.
"Fuck (Y/n)." Declan cursed.
You shifted your hand to his neck, Declan almost laughed, flipping you again so that he was behind you. Both of you on your knees as he held you against his chest, his hand wrapped firmly around your neck with his opposite arm securely around your middle.
The sensation was almost unbearable as his thick member pumped in and out of you at such speed.
"You think you want to be a bad girl?" Declan hissed in your ear.
You could only shake your head.
"Bad girls get punished." Declan bit hard down on your shoulder and you fought to not cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain.
"You're mine now." Declan's own proclamation brought himself to his own climax. He pulled out, spilling his seed over his own thighs to avoid finishing inside of you much to your own disappointment.
"I know you wanted that inside of you like the dirty girl you are." Declan teased you as he gave your throat one final soft squeeze.
You fell against him, both trying to catch your breath.
"Declan?" A voice and a knock came at the door.
"Shit..." The realisation of what had just happened and where it just happened hit Declan like a cricket bat to the face.
"I'll be out in a mo." Declan scrambled for his underwear and you did the same.
"Hurry up! I know that's where you're hiding the good stuff!" Bas' voice was more evident now and whilst he was definitely talking about the whiskey. The both of you couldn't help but laugh.
#Rivals#Rivals Imagines#declan o’hara#Declan o'hara one shot#Declan o'hara x reader#rupert campbell black#aidan turner#taggie o'hara#Declan x reader#Declan o'hara imagine#smut#imagine#one shot#x reader#rivals tv show
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dude EVERY Sherlock Holmes discord server is the most stressful environment for someone like me to be in I swear- I'm not used to big public servers where anyone can see your opinions and every channel HAS to be used in a specific way and if your conversation drifts you have to move like holy. shit
the chill autistic man's nightmare, additional anxiety about not being where you're meant to be in a DISCORD SERVER
#personal bullshit#like most people are really nice but mods freak me out#maybe thats cuz I have a fear of authority and my experience with discord mods is the opposite of pleasant#but jesus fuck#I dont like having to move channels every time a conversation naturally drifts#idk idk I only use personal servers so im not used to that kind of environment#I mean I totally get it#people want their servers properly organized so thate fair but just doesnt mix with me LMAO#anyways this is my complaining party over#might make a server of my own so that it can be a bit more chill
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I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.
#ugh i can't believe i have to make my own shipping fanart#tfw you're complaining to your sister that you can't find any content of them but then you remember you have the power#man i do not know how to draw kissing or hugging or any of that romantic stuff#mostly i just know how to put paragraphs of dialogue in between two talking heads#but this seems to be something of a rarepair even though they are obsessed with each other so i suppose i gotta try#karlach#lae'zel#shipping#bg3#baldurs gate 3#karlzel#i think that's the ship name but i have found so little of them that i'm genuinely not sure#laelach#(just in case)#but come on they're perfect! they're sunshine/raincloud! dog energy/cat energy! tall/small! hot and cold! canonically into each other!#character who represses sadness and character who doesn't understand happiness! pretty girls who can both bench press each other!#considering what their banter looks like i don't get how this isn't a more popular pairing. who else does karlach wistfully sigh over?#my sister tells me that lae'zel is not well-liked by the wider fandom and that that may be why (so sorry if other people have bad taste)#or maybe people don't often put the barbarian and the fighter together in the same party at the same time#anyway now that you're 100% convinced feel free to draw them making out so that i don't have to k thx <3
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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille
#possramble#ignore this im just babbling but#the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel#and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession#platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together#like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married#convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist#but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain#like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just#the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends#the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me#like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed#the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk#people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out#don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it#and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over#like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics#and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with#they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic#it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out#like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched#love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it#anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me#it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3#it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.
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my toronto-trip happened to coincide with the last toronto show of taylor swift's tour so i've been getting to people-watch all day with so many people clearly dressed in their concert outfits
there's even a tree near the children's hospital where people have been hanging up friendship bracelets on the strands of christmas lights the city put up and encouraging people to take a bracelet and leave one of their own. and like say what you will about taylor swift and the culture surrounding her but this is just objectively adorable. especially since most of the people i saw at the tree were little kids but even seeing teens/adults get this excited was sweet. like even tho taylor swift has plenty of overpriced merch (as all big musicians do) the most iconic "merch" items from this tour are handmade by fans for fans and accessible to pretty much anyone
like can this friendship bracelet thing catch on for other fanbases??? would love to go to the kith shows this week and trade friendship bracelets that say shit like "chicken lady" or "impolite and evil"
#i do have some kith bracelets i made and some i've gotten from online friends but unfortunately i left them all at home :(#may genuinely ask my parents to bring them up for me if they're in the place i think they are#anyway i've actually enjoyed the vibes of seeing how the eras tour has taken over toronto. i know some people get annoyed at it which valid#bc i also agree taylor swift is overexposed and has done/said shitty things and isn't the best singer/songwriter of all time#but also? idk i just like the vibe of people getting excited about things!!#and how this all feels like celebrating a holiday in a kids-party-way. like when else do you see people dressing up and giving out treats#and yeah i wish people were getting this excited about the show I'M excited about rather than one i'm not going to/don't care about#but at the end of the day. that bracelet tree was very cute when else are you going to have that#i saw a little boy complaining none of the other boys in his class like taylor swift and y'know i don't either but i'd support him lmao
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some game design thinky thoughts.
#it speaks#da gameplay complaints so weird to me. which i say as someone whose favorite combat was origins.#i mean 1 like i just enjoy a lot of different types of games. including crpg style tactical and including action#and inclulding me style arpg#but fr like people just keep saying over and over 'only three abilities???????????' like bro did u know in dai#that one of the warrior abilities was COMBAT ROLL.#a lot of things like that were previously abiliities and can in real time combat become different kinds of mechanics#and lemme say as someone who never invests in combat roll i spend a lot of time in dai fighting dragons by fruitlessly jumping in the hope#that THIS time i might be able to dodge the incoming attack i can clearly see coming (i can't)#idk like the point is obv if you don't like action-oriented combat whatever but complaining about design changes which actually serve#to make GOOD action-oriented combat is wild to me.#love that it's still rtwp my beloved. love giving commands to followers. love that it's built around synergies and that the wheel actually#tells you things like detonation combos and enemy resistances because i love taking advantage of stuff like that but find often in games#that information is overly obscured or a hassle to discover#and if i in real time action combat had 20 different abilities to choose from while still needing to dodge out of the way and pop off#an attack- that would be at worst overwhelming and distracting and at best feel like more than i need.#and at the same time! the skill tree looks great. best i've seen from da (and iterated from other franchises well imo) and still looks#plenty deep and customizable. way more than me's five little blocks or whatever#and wrt to party control yeah i'll miss it i like it a lot!#but again for this style of combat i literally don't think you need it and that's okay!#the game feeling better for what it is is okay!#even in dai like i have a lot of moments in that game where it's actually more a nuisance than anything else to fully switch control#to use an ability. e.g. i usually spec solas out with spirit magic and i almost always will fully enter the tactical cam just to#tell him to cast a barrier. or a revive. or dispel some demons before they spawn in#like i'm literally already just telling him to use abilities and then i switch back to me. and in that game there are def times where i hav#thought yeah this would actually be smoother if i could just tell him to use it +position it!#i spend the most time party switching in origins esp on higher difficulties but obv the game is most fine tuned for that#and you can play through the entire series as if it were an arpg if you want. that's what i did when i was a kid lmfao#well anyways. that's my two cents! i think it'll be really engaging! from what i've seen the game director isn't talking out of her ass!#vir dirthera
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i had a big ole inspiration strike in the shower and thought, what if S5 took the interruption trope that the stranger writers love so much for byler but made it vecna? ok bc let's say vecna's watching will (bc he is) and he will definitely try to thwart any character progression will could potentially make that would enable will to grow stronger (and more capable of defeating vecna)... and let's also say that ever since the big rift opened up, micro-fissures in the ground keep opening up randomly, which means you always have to be on your guard bc you never know when a mini rift will open up and make you fall into the upside down...
and let's say mike and will finally (after many episodes of mutual pining and building tension) have their Love Confession moment, and it's building up to it, and after a long conversation of them skirting around the point, will finally finds the courage to softly tell mike, "i think, for me... it's always been you" (with HEAVY romantic implications), and mike looks at him both with so much soft surprise but also so much hope, and mike steps closer to will, placing his hand on his cheek, and begins to say something back, but he doesn't make it past will's name because, SUDDENLY, they both startle as the ground begins to split apart beneath them, and their hands find each other's and they FRANTICALLY try to run away but then a vine lashes out of the upside down and winds itself around will's ankle, yanking him out of mike's grip and dragging him across asphalt into the rift, and mike nearly fell as will got pulled away for him so he's scrambling to get back on his feet, screaming "WILL!" and running after him, trying to grab him, as will cries out to mike and reaches out for mike's hands, but mike's fingertips barely graze will's before will disappears into the upside down, and we get a shot of mike from below as he screams will's name into where he disappeared into the gate
and THEN let's say, an episode later, will is facing off vecna in the upside down, but he isn't succeeding, and vecna's got him suspended in the air as the vines slither up will's body, wrapping themselves around him as they aim to shove themselves down will's throat again, and will is struggling so hard but this feels like this is it and tears are escaping out of tightly shut eyes and it HURTS and he's been in so much pain for so long, and maybe this is the end, and then!
THEN!
out of nowhere, vecna gets blasted away, and the impact breaks his concentration, so the vines release their hold on will and will falls, landing on his side with a gasp, and his eyes fly open to see mike, molotov cocktail in his hand, fury in his eyes, and mike mutters "eat shit, asshole" as he throws another cocktail at vecna. and it won't be enough, will knows that, but all he can think about is that mike is here, and god, does he love him, and as soon as the cocktail leaves mike's hand his gaze flies to will, and mike starts running straight at him, and will stumbles to his feet, and he lets out a "mike," but he can't get any further than that because mike's reached him and he's kissing him. he's got both hands cupped tenderly around will's jaw and he's pulling will's face closer to his and mike's kissing him. and it's all will can do to sob against mike's beautiful lips and bury his own hands into mike's hair, tugging him impossibly closer. and they kiss. they kiss, and they kiss, and will cries, and they kiss some more, and then, too soon, mike's pulling away, leaning his forehead against will's. will fights to catch his breath as mike asks, "you ok?" in the tone of voice he saves for will alone, thumbing away at the tear streaks down will's face, and will just breathes out a laugh. "never better," he replies, and mike laughs too, affectionately brushing his nose against will's.
they breathe the same air for a moment, basking in their finally actualized love, when mike blurts out, "me too", like he's finishing a conversation, and will just blinks at him, confused. "it's always been you for me, too." mike smiles down at him so fondly, and will feels himself tearing up again, his newfound joy so at odds with the hopelessness he felt moments before, and it swells up in him like the dawn breaking, and he doesn't know if he has the space within him to keep this happiness contained. "always has been, and always will," mike confesses into the space between him, and will laughs wetly, cheeks hurting at how big he's beaming, before lifting his face back up to kiss mike again. mike grins against will's lips, then kisses him more and more and more.
will never wants him to stop.
#and then we cut to the party (who joined mike into the ud) who look on in shock#and then dustin breaks the silence by shouting “oh my god it all MAKES SENSE”#and then lucas goes “wdym it makes sense?? where did thid come from??”#and then dustin goes on a huge rant about how mike's behavior about the byers leaving never added up#especially considering he was always complaining about not being able to call even though dustin KNEW mike was getting letters from el#but even then mike never freaked out about el the way he always has about will#no offense el but... it makes sense#and el just smiles and says “no. it does make sense.”#also i headcanon that el knows by now that mike loves will bc when she initiated their breakup she told mike “friends don't lie”#and she was definitely trying to redirect mike“s understanding of where his affections truly lie#anyway rant over#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#byler s5#byler fic#kinda#will's love for mike goes hand in hand with his ability to defeat vecna#the more he and mike solidify and embrace their love for each other#the more capable will becomes of defeating vecna#hence vecna's interruption#ok rant truly over now
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hearing about keir starmer doing that speech to undecided voters here in the south east and proudly saying that they should vote labour because he's completely changed the party was such a 😬 moment for me today because that's the exact reason why i'm an undecided this time around
#ge 2024#what makes me incandescently angry is how a left wing party has to drag itself to being a centre-right one#just so it can be 'palatable' to the electorate#like fuck thatcher for making individualism that fucking ingrained in this country that a party caring about people in poverty loses votes#and god forbid they spend money on trying to save the public services that the right brought to their knees thru chronic underfunding#how people can vote for those arsehole tories then sit there complaining that the NHS has gone to shit#you fucking voted for it you idiots!!!#repeatedly!!!#personally idgaf if labour spend money on making things better#raise my taxes to fund it for fuck's sake!!!#i'd take that over a continuation of the shitshow that's been the last 14 years#anyway i'll stop there because i could be here all night
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Part of being Canadian is how similar we are to the US, and honestly not a single person on earth I think could genuinely pin point the difference between Canadian and American culture but the average Canadian. Americans assume we're the same as them (we aren't), even a bunch of Canadians think we're Americans, especially around voting seasons, and about half our cultural identity is "we're Not American!" but there are some cultural differences and if we all spoke French equally we could have had a language distinction but nooooo. Despite not being America unfortunately such a fuck off massive country right below your teeny tiny ass country (population wise) does result in a cultural avalanche from said fuck off massive country. Especially when you share a language.
The war of 1812 will forever be funny to me though because Americans were like "hmm maybe Canadians would also like to tell the British to fuck off, we will invade to show them!" And Canada was like *burns down the white house* and we've been tentatively chill with each other ever since lmao (even when we probably like. Shouldn't be cool with America but like. We could not risk that implosion politically or otherwise it'd be suicide).
#winters ramblings#apparently americans think they won the war of 1812 and you did not. you did not achieve your goal#and a bit over 100 years later canada would nicely ask sempi to be free and britian decided yeah i guess#you guys did a vimmy ridge in WW1 i guess you can be yourselves#and native people- still unable to vote and would be ineligible for another some 50 years or so- were probably like ??!!!!?!!!#REMOVE these pale faced demons!! and i cant say i blame them for that even if my settler ass does not mind being from here#no fucked up spiders very few fucked up bugs ok seasons amd weather where *I* live anyway#i cant complain too much aint no spiders the size of my head OR fucked up weirdo beez on steroids that look like some feckin#HUNGER GAMES ass shit and not an earth bug. if i lived on either coast though my opinion would be different#especially the east coast FUCK their ocean-y assed winters lake effect is bad enough. the SNOW BELT is bad enough#i cando without that shite too although outwest aint better especially in the praries but still no fucked up bugs so 🤷🏻♀️#anyway i do genuinely believe if youre not canadian you wouldnt even know the difference between America and Canadian culture#OR the difference of history and even CANADIANS dont know our voting system isnt the same#like we dont even have half the shit Americans do like an electoral college and canadians STILL think we need to vote#as if we're in a 2 party system. we arent. arguably were in a 4 party system but 3 if you reasonably dont count Greens#its fuckin weird though because youll see people talk about canada and america interchangeably#and like i cant evenblame em when even some canadians get confused or WORSE actually WANT to be america#usually conservatives who like deepthroating boot#although i do think this is somewhat odd as a phenomenon because America doesn't have ONE culture#what canada is near idential to is NORTHERN Americans like the south is a whole Thing with a textured history#like obviously the north is too but culturally i get that more than what the south has going because you could even argue#the south have MULTIPLE cultures and in the north you could at least argue the coasts are distinct culturally#like they got terms like pacific north west we dont have ANY of that we are an EXTREMELY small rural country#its strange to confise it with America but at the same time like. yeah that makes perfect sense to me. and not all at once lol
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In an effort to be slightly less of an insufferable shithead on the internet today I redirected my elitist "P3R looks like the vibes are completely off and is not doing it for me" energy to just booting up FES for the first time in like 8 months and playing it for 12 hours straight. This worked until I went back on the internet after I was done and immediately saw a P3R screenshot which, after having 12 hours of FES imprinted on my eyeballs, was so jarringly ugly that it immediately got me writing five-part threads on the private Twitter about how ugly it is. Win some lose some. Sometimes you just can't help but be an insufferable shithead on the internet
#listen everybody knows that I am a tacky bitch so in most cases I love bright tacky colors and over designed UI#but for this game specifically the vibes are so completely ruined#where the hell is the darkness and the creepiness and the somberness man#shits GONE#anyway it's ugly and I don't like it#however unlike other gamers on the internet who are also complaining about it I'm not buying it#I'll never understand why people buy remakes that they then bitch about#I have my issues with portable but I respect portable a lot more#even though it ruined the balance by letting you control party members when that was literally the entire point of the game#WHATEVER#anyway#fes i love you and my backwards compatible ps3
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bitching abt homophobia n shit at my job in the tags o7 happy pride
#so i voluenteer at a library n work there through a 3rd party job center over the summer. ive volunteered there for like 5 yrs so i know --#--the staff there p well#anyway yeah so like last year our pride display got taken down bc someone complained. our director didnt really contest this.#our pride display got taken down again. this time with the board threatening to cut funding if we put it back up.#no contesting yet again#its literally just the corner of a 3 sided display podium with some gay books or whatever#some guy comes in and tears up our lgbt author rec list. the director removes those as well#there r 2 bi clerks and one genderqueer clerk and me! the fag gopher and she still doesnt feel it pertinent 2 stick up for the ppl who--#work there#or maybe she does right? like i want to believe she does bc ive known her for 5 maybe 6 actually years. ive gone to christmas--#parties at her house. shes been someone i can count on before and yet here she is letting us all down#bc its not just me or the gay ppl who work there right its for the ppl in my shitty fucking southern town who have basic common decency#shes someone i thought was some kind of ally HAHAH...like that term feels lame but#.....yeah yknow?#she even said shed be moving picture books with gay parents and shit into a quote quote adult matters section into the juvenile section#i assume on request of the board bc obvs being trans or gay or whatever is of course an adult matter that will taint our beautiful little#tow headed bastards#we even had the guy who requested the pride display be taken down come in today and CHECK to make sure no faggy books were out#ive been very angry about it and i just need to ...spit it up somewhere. maybe a transformers blog isnt the best place for it but whatever.#sorry about my language lol.#shes my boss and its going to be a real issue for me bc she laughed saying id have to start cleaning bathrooms this year and i legitimately#--nearly had to leave the room. like haha really funny. glad you can laugh about shit. did you know im a fucking queer.
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i am in a way better mood today bc i actually got a little sleep but there is a deep self loathing monologue in my head that i just can’t shake
#it’s like hmm i am such a piece of shit that doesn’t do anything#and i complain and whine but never actually help myself or try#i have so many late bills and no clean clothes and rotten food all over my room#i’m so bad at being an adult and i’ve failed myself over and over and i don’t wanna keep doing it#i wouldn’t even know how to start liking myself or trying to be better all i can focus on is dying#life feels so unfulfilling and lonely all the time so why would i fight for it anyway#blah blah blah pity party whatever shut up#pink’s word vomiting
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#okay idk if there’s some weird part of my brain that thinks I’m gen x or something#but I feel like it’s so crazy to just. treat a job as being completely temporary#a lot of my old friends are trying to organize a big party or something over the summer while they’re not in school to fool around-#and get drunk or high or whatever#and I was like ‘uh sorry can’t make it I still have work over the summer’#and they so casually told me that I should leave my job and come hang out????#like I’m not sorry to say I actually do like my job rn and I’m super grateful for it and I’ve never met anyone my age with a job this great#so fuck no I’m not going to casually quit my job to hang out with people from high school#with my small bits of vacation I do have I want to spend with my family and a few close friends#and it’s weird how many kids my age just truly do not care about or value their jobs at all#and then they complain about being broke#if you were truly broke you wouldn’t casually quit jobs like they don’t matter#anyways#rant <3
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can all of my friends pls stop dating people and then breaking up with them as soon as they’re full assimilated into our friend group. like im friends with all their exes before / during / after they are together. they’re all cool dudes my friends are just insane and dont know what they want.
#and then they complain and act offended when they show up at MY christmas party and r like omg i didnt know you invited HIM!#like girl#he was my friend for 3 years b4 you fcked!!!! hes still a closer friend to me than you are lmao#i will never be as chill around women as i am around dudes i cant help it#keeping up with drama when u have slutty friends is so mentally exshausting#like i dont really care about it but they tell me anyway#i will never understand the girl thing of lets hang out so i can tell you my problems and make you uncomfortable and all i want you to do#is listen and validate my shitty behavior#anyways rant over time to go back to my philosophy essay lmaoooo
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i cant be upset i literally have cool lighting
#oooh time to brag about my room again. its so epic.#thank you christmas lights i won in at a work party o7 i owe you a lott#ooh my room so epic i need to make a cool reference for it sometime. if only drawing was real.#yayy#its so sad that i dont know where my lighter is T-T i got a new candle with no way to can the le.#sillyposting#anyway back to complaining.#i forgot that. having to take care of yourself also needs to happen when you feel blegh#aka cooking with gas and a hot pot. isnt great for the thinking.#its fine i made nothing food and. ate. which is good ig.#MORE COMPLAINING.#i hate that ive found a wine that is tolerable. because now that i have one that is NOT i am. struggling.#ooh the okay one is like 6.5% which. would explain somethign.#but this one. tastes like rose yep!#im gonna mix it with sprite soon.#oooh at least there is an alcohol win this week.#my brother had people over both yesterday and the day before.#which means he got to introduce me to an amaretto that is. way better than the dissorrono one.#half the % aswell but NOTHING of the aftertaste!!! its really weird but awesomeeee#idk where to get it but. something to look into.#i dont drink often. especially not in public.#ok.#its a shame this one isnt cold. would be wayy better but im too scaredy.#OOH actually i did see some ice in the freezer.#OOOOOOHHHHH waiitittttttt i have icecream!!!! I FORGORR/#ok thats awesome. im having a good night now =w=bbb
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#pls forgive a grumpy tags post#my husband is something like aroace#so we've been trying an open relationship so i can get my sex needs fulfilled#he doesn't really want to hear about what i do#but then complains about me lying by omission basically#on Friday i told him i was going to a “naked game night”#came back and he was upset that it was actually like a sex party and i had been with multiple people#i was like#tf you thought it was going to be????#so anyway now he has closed our relationship#which i will get over i guess#good thing i have therapy tomorrow 😬
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